Our Internet-Safe Christmas ... er, "Seasonal" ... Letter

Dear Indeterminate Number of (in no particular order) Loved Ones and/or Friends and/or Acquaintances:

Well, here it is! It's that time of year again, and no Seasonal Letter would be complete without a first paragraph full of remarks about how it's, you know, that time of year again, and isn't it incredible how time has flown since that time last year when we last sent out a letter beginning with remarks about how it's that time of year again. Where has the time gone!?

Of course, this being a last-minute letter via Internet, certain precautions must be taken to protect the privacy of my household, assuming of course that I have one. Remarks may be offered about the progress of certain home-improvement projects, children's school activities and interests, pets, travels, conspiracy theories, work, participation in a spiritual community of freely-associated like-minded individuals, etc., but in the interests of privacy some details may be disguised and/or entire subject areas fabricated from whole cloth. Enjoy the following seasonal good cheer at the risk of your own mistaken inferences.

My Long-Term Life Companion and Procreation Partner (LTLCPP) continues to be professionally challenged by his/her/its duties as the financial data facilitator of the spiritual community of freely-associated like-minded individuals of which one or more the members of our household participates. In her/his/its sparetime hours, LTLCPP continues the non-vocational enjoyment of the fabrication of aesthetically heightened values-affirming communication devices, late-autumn harvest festival attire for pre-majority household member(s), and decorative non-garment personal accessories.

One or more of the sub-adult household members participates in an organization sometimes known as the Gender-Restricted Reconnaissance Participants of a Constitutional Republic Occupying Some of the Land Mass of North America, where he/she/it has achieved one or more of the ranks designated by furry woodland mammals. Oh, and he/she/it really likes it.

Other sub-adult household member(s) have begun participation in an entirely separate Gender-Restricted Reconnaissance Participants of a Constitutional Republic Occupying Some of the Land Mass of North America organization, where he/she/it has/have attained a rank designated by a common but delicious baked confection.

Other sub-adult household member(s) have expressed the desire to become involved in one or more of the above-mentioned voluntary organizations at a more chronologically advantageous time.

Each of those sub-adult household members who in fact exist has performed academically at a level including but limited to "satisfactory."

Our household truly enjoyed a leisuretime excursion over the summer to a coastal community located at a distance from our permanent residence of not greater than 10,000 miles.

My work with a federal, state or local government unit continues as before, and I have been nominated to a leadership role within the spiritual community of freely-associated like-minded individuals with which one or more members of our household participates.

Our pet bison had to be euthanized after contracting Dutch Elm Disease.

Well, that's about it! And what a year it's been!

With warm generic feelings,

Reluctantly Reforming