The Gift of Encouragement

One of the other elders of my church gave a recent talk to the men of the congregation about encouragement, and I am offering my notes here.

Christian men have many roles and forms of leadership. We are husbands, fathers, church leaders, military commanders, bosses, mentors, and teachers, to name a few. Leadership, as any pastor can attest, is an extremely lonely job. It is also one that requires courage -- to move our followers forward, to maintain the initiative, and to make sound decisions.

So what is the source of (genuine) courage? The world around us usually offers some form of self-reliance, the bootstraps approach. "Courage comes from within," we hear, which is half right. True courage does come from within, but its source is true knowledge of God and trust in Him. Consider God's word to Joshua as Joshua faces his new role as Israel's leader in the conquest of Canaan: "No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life. Just as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you or forsake you" (Josh. 1:5). Or Psalm 27:13,14, in which the psalmist proclaims his faith, "I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living! Wait for the LORD, be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!" And Jesus' words in John 16:33: "I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world."

We see one believer's experience of the courage that comes from relationship with God in First Samuel 17. The Philistines' nine foot, nine inch, 400-pound champion Goliath attempts to demoralize the Israelite army and destroy its courage - and succeeds. Notice in 17:11b their dismay. Their courage is suddenly and completely gone. Yet David's history with God convinces him (verses 31-37) of God's glory and faithfulness. Despite a 6:1 weight ratio (Goliath even has an armor-bearer in attendance) David boldly sets out with shepherd's staff, bag, and sling. Yet banish any John Wayne-type images that come to mind, for David's courage is completely devoid of pride. What makes him unstoppable is his confidence in God's power and zeal for God's name.

Yet how forgetful we are! And so, the Bible's prescription: we are to encourage one another, i.e., we are to give each other courage. As fathers, we should be telling our children, "You can do it." Yet if our words stop here we do nothing but raise good humanists. Far better to remind our sons and daughters of the gifts and abilities God has blessed them with, and to call on them to put those gifts to good use. Success is absolutely connected to reliance on God.

We are to encourage one another daily. As a conference of men, author Larry Crabb once asked the audience how many had enjoyed a relationship at any time since belonging to Christ with a "spiritual father" or a "spiritual brother." A spiritual father was defined as a godly man who says, "I understand what you're going through, and have overcome. Follow me." A spiritual brother was defined as one who says, "I understand what you're going through because I'm experiencing it now. Walk with me." All too predictably, only about six of the 400 men in attendance raised their hands. How desperately we need the encouragement of others.

For more biblical examples of encouragement tied to relationship with God, note Nehemiah's words to the rebuilders of Jerusalem at a time of great opposition: "And I looked and arose and said to the nobles and to the officials and to the rest of the people, 'Do not be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your homes.'" (Neh. 4:14) And he urges in verse 20, "In the place where you hear the sound of the trumpet, rally to us there. Our God will fight for us." Or Hezekiah, to the people of Jersalem as Sennacherib's awesome Assyrian army invades: "'Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or dismayed before the king of Assyria and all the horde that is with him, for there are more with us than with him. With him is an arm of flesh, but with us is the LORD our God, to help us fight our battles" (2 Chron. 32:7-8a).

Applications: every man needs a relationship of accountability with total honesty. And let each of us examine ourselves as to whether we are doing the work of encouragement - within our accountability relationships, and especially with our wives and children.